Have you ever seen that movie called Airplane!? … a movie from the 80s packed with ridiculous situations and witty one-liners that happen on a plane?
If that made you snort milk out your nose (or at least chuckle politely), then you’ve come to the right place.
This page is your first-class ticket to a land overflowing with puns about turbulence, peanuts, and the existential dread of hurtling through the sky in a metal tube. Just remember, if the jokes get too bad, you can always deploy your emergency parachute made of recycled paper airplane jokes.
Airplane Jokes & Puns
I asked the flight attendant if I could change seats because of the crying baby next to me. Unfortunately, you can’t do that, when it’s your own kid.
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing? Nah, I can’t see them taking off.
What do you call a plane that cannot take off? An error-plane.
A plane crashed, and every single person died, except for two. Why? Because they were a couple.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane chocolate.
Do you want to hear an airplane joke? Nah, it will probably just fly over my head.
What do you call a plane that flies backwards? A receding airline!
My father really wanted me to make paper planes with him. Eventually I folded.
Why did the students study in the airplane? Because they wanted higher grades?
What happens to a bad airplane joke? It never lands.
What is one thing a pilot can’t say in a job interview? I’m down-to-earth.
Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? It was overbooked.
Why was the little airplane sent to his hangar? Bad altitude.
Did you hear about the pilot who always never unemployed for long? He was great at landing a job.
Why did the airplane get arrested? Because it was winging it!
What did the airplane say when it bounced off the runway? Boeing, boeing, boeing!
Did you hear about the bad plane joke? It didn’t land.
Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
Chuck Norris put his phone on airplane mode … and flew it!
Why was the airplane sick? Because it had the flew.
Did you hear about the new TV show about a plane crash? The pilot was horrible.
What’s the best place for a mountain climber to keep his plane? In a cliff-hangar.
What happens when you wear a watch on a plane? Time flies.
What is Robin Hood’s favorite way to travel? By arrow-plane.
How do rabbits travel? By Hare-oplane
What do we want? Low-flying airplanes! When do we want them? Neeeeeoooooooowww!
What has a nose and flies, but can’t smell? An airplane?
The food on the plane made me sick on the way to Germany. I think it was the wurst.
If a plane has a small crack in it, is that called an airline fracture?
Who invented the first plane that could NOT fly? The Wrong brothers.
Who invented the first paper airplane? The Write brothers.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet? A plane in the neck.
What do you get when you cross a snake and plane? A Boeing Constrictor.
When I was at the check-in desk, the attendant said, “Window or Aisle?” I replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
I tried to carry my board game onto the plane, but security said I was allowed to do it … the Risk was too big.
Some Star Wars characters were flying in a plane and one of the worried stormtroopers asked “Are we going the right way?” Yoda quickly responded, “Off course, we are.”
Why do stormtroopers make the best pilots? They never hit anything!
Why did everyone scream when I held to the door open for them? We were on a plane.
A flight attendant asked a passenger what he would like for dinner. “What are my choices?” asked the passenger. “Yes or no,” she replied.
Did you hear about the student pilot who flew through a rainbow during his final pilot’s exam? He passed with flying colors.
My brother has a pilot’s license, but he only used to only do private flights. So he placed advertisements all over the plane. Now he flies commercial.
A guy in a plane stood up and shouted, HIJACK! All passengers got scared. From the other end of the plane, a guy shouted back, HI JOHN!
A passenger asks the pilot, “How high are we?” The pilot replies, “I don’t do drugs, sir.”
Did you know that there are many more airplanes in the ocean than there are boats in the air? I mean the reason why is plan to sea.
I didn’t find any of these airplane jokes funny. In fact, I thought they were all really Boeing!
If you know any more jokes about planes, let us know them in the comments section of our video.
