Rob and Ange at the top of an active volcano – Volcán Villarrica Chile – Woodward Games
Who are the weirdos behind Woodward Games?
The Woodward Games website, and our YouTube Channel, are managed by Rob Woodward from New Zealand and his wonderful wife Angélica Prieto from Chile.
⚠️ Warning, Beep, Warning, Beep, Warning! ⚠️
We have a strange/weird/dark sense of humour, so if you are easily offended or just unhappy about life in general, please leave now through the side door (the 100-foot drop outside of it is just and optical illusion, honest!) and go and annoy someone else.
Why did we create Woodward Games?
Well, it was a dark stormy night with a wind howling ferociously outside and… no, not really. The psychiatrist just said it would be best to put our thoughts in writing instead of scratching them into our own flesh. We also thought it would be great to help others relax and have some fun. Basically this is a therapeutic hobby!
So what type of things do you do?
I expertly convert caffeine into mildly productive energy … oh wait, you mean on this website? Um, stuff. Mainly stuff that we feel like doing. No plan, just whatever.
How is the site financed?
We are NOT financed so if you have any spare cans of beans floating around, can you please leave them on our doorstop. However, if you would like to pay us to travel to a random part of the world to talk about stuff and make fun of it, then we will of course consider it! Our YouTube channel currently isn’t monetized and hardly anyone visits this website to make any money from ads, I mean what type of weirdo would visit this website anyway … no offence intended.
So how do you make a living?
Unfortunately Rob only has hairy man boobs, not the sexy ones, so his OnlyFuns page actually earns a negative amount every month. That means we have to make a living WORKING! As strange as it may seem we do have a day job (and I won’t mention that dodgy night job). We own multiple websites that (almost) keep us out of trouble. You can see some of the things we do on our Woodward Education site BUT it’s overly serious, got lots of words and it’s really boring so don’t bother checking it out.
I want to give you shitloads of money because you’re sexy!
“Rob … wake up … WAKE UP ROB! YOU’RE DREAMING AGAIN!!!” said Ange.
I saw a mistake on the Woodward Games website
Says who? Your conception was probably a mistake too but for some reason they still kept you.
As you know everyone makes mistakes, even us (yep, I made a mistake once back in 1982, though it wasn’t really my fault, the cat shouldn’t have been in the oven in the first place). So don’t take everything we or anyone else writes here as gospel, the holy truth or fact. Everything here is an opinion from our own personal experiences and that of others (these “others” may in fact be imaginary friends but their points of views are still valid – stop discriminating them). Before doing anything based on what you have seen, read or smelled here, please seek professional advice first, be that a travel agent, a haemorrhoids remover specialist or even your local psychiatrist, whichever is more appropriate.
Can I write a guest article for your website?
I don’t know… can you? Your fingers didn’t get amputated, did they?
Ok, let me rephrase that … How can I write an article on your website (considering I have all my fingers)?
We are very opened minded but just like our readers, we hate spammy crap (which was like 99.9% of the people who contacted us before) with irrelevant offerings (no, my readers don’t need your new fangled app that instantly uploads selfies of your dog’s butt). So, for now we are not accepting guest submissions. If we ever talk in person, I’d probably be up for doing something together, otherwise I’ll just assume you used AI to write whatever it was you sent to me.
Will I get paid if I write a guest post?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! No!
How can I contact you?
If you missed the day at school when they were teaching telepathy then I’m not sure how we’re going to get in touch with each other. Maybe you could just reach out on social media via DM (that’s Direct Message, not Dungeon Master DM nor Dominatrix Mistress DM) or you can always ask Scarlett Johansson, I’m sure she’s got my personal details in favourites on her phone.
HOWEVER (in big serious capital letters said in a gruff voice), if you really must contact us about something then you should read the following rules:
1. No, we don’t want (or need) your random miracle pill or to see your wonderful Triple X site.
2. Woodward Games doesn’t make us enough money so unfortunately we can’t sponsor your event with cash and no, we won’t donate any more underarm hairs for your cause either.
4. We’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions about Woodward Games, both the good and the good so send feel free to let us know.
5. Always leave the house with fresh underwear in case you get run over by a huge truck.
6. What happened to number three?
Having understood that and you feel like you still want to send us something positive (a postcard, a box or chocolates or bag of rubber chickens), you can do so at: (email now removed – do it via snail mail).
P.O. Box 38438
Howick
Auckland 2145
New Zealand
It’s usually quicker to send us a message on twitter where we hang out most of the day… in that dark corner on the right.
How many languages can you speak?
I am fluent in English, Spanish and Rum.
Um, that’s about all we can say for now.
Peace, Love and Good Happiness Stuff!
Rob and Ange.